Meditation Doesn’t Mean Shutting Your Brain Up
I used to think meditation meant forcing my brain to shut up.
Turns out, my brain had other plans.
In Part 1 of this series, I shared how the focus-on-the-breath-and-don’t-think method of meditation didn’t work for me—and why that didn’t mean I failed.
Instead, I learned to befriend my wandering thoughts instead of trying to suppress them.
I found a better fit in a broader approach that treats focusing on breath during meditation as an anchor rather than a sole focus.
This shift has helped me to reconnect with my thoughts, emotions, and body.
Noticing What the Mind Naturally Does
If your mind wanders when you meditate, that means your brain is working exactly as designed.
Meditation teacher Gil Fronsdal points out in his book Issue at Hand that not thinking is not the point of meditation:
“Sometimes people think the point of meditation is to stop thinking—to have a silent mind. This does happen occasionally, but it is not necessarily the point of meditation”
It’s okay for me to stop focusing on breathing to recognize when my mind has wandered off into thinking.
The key is not to get caught up in a stream or “train” of thinking.
My mind tends to jump from one related (or sometimes unrelated) thought to subsequent thoughts, chasing rabbits in all directions.
Gil Fronsdal makes a helpful distinction about types of thinking in his Introduction to Mindfulness Meditation series. He distinguishes between “thoughting” and “thinking”.
“Thoughting” is when you have one individual thought, like “I hear a sound.” It’s like watching a train pass by.
“Thinking” is like getting on a train that keeps on going and leads from one thought to another in a continuing stream.
It is valuable to notice what type of thinking you’re doing. If it’s “thinking” you’ll need to get off the train, then focus on what you’ve been thinking.
Looking Beneath the Thought
My goal is to recognize when I’m thinking, name it, and, if possible, ask what’s behind it.
For instance, when I meditate in the morning, my mind often wanders to thoughts about what I’ll be doing during the day. I find myself planning in detail for those situations, anticipating what might go wrong and preparing responses.
When I notice myself thinking during meditation, I ask myself, “Why am I thinking about this?“
“Why do I have these kinds of thoughts so often?”
“Why does my mind keep planning for the future?”
Perhaps it’s because I’m apprehensive or anxious about the future.
Perhaps I feel a need to exert more control.
Maybe I’m afraid that things will go wrong, and I don’t want to look stupid or incompetent.
So I try to plan out every detail in advance.
I think about whatever I’ve discovered and meditate on that. Once I feel done, I return to focusing on my breathing again.
Sitting with Emotions Instead of Fixing Them
When I identify strong emotions while meditating, I don’t typically try to ‘do’ anything about them; I observe them.
I was recently telling a friend about becoming aware of an emotion during meditation and simply sitting with it, observing it.
His immediate response was, “What do you do with it then?” He assumed that once identified, there was an immediate need to address the emotion.
As tempting as it might be to rush to “fix” whatever has been identified, that’s not the goal here.
Instead, the goal is to be patient, give the emotion space to be itself, and allow time for it to work itself out. I think to myself, “So that’s what it looks and feels like when I’m mad.”
Emotions will often work themselves out when given attention and will frequently lessen in intensity over time.
This makes it more likely we won’t do something stupid by immediately responding to an emotion.
How often have we regretted something we wrote or said when caught up in a strong emotion?
Awareness of Body, Emotion, and Thought
I find this approach to meditation of recognizing and observing my breath, body sensations, emotions, and thoughts to be practical and valuable.
The real value of mindfulness meditation is that it’s a technique that helps me to get out of being ‘caught up’ in myself and lets me observe myself from a more neutral perspective.
It’s a form of self-therapy that helps me see myself and make more thoughtful decisions.
I’m very much a beginner and have a long way to go.
But even at this stage, I’m more aware of my body, emotions, and thoughts as I go about my day.
And that, for me, is a considerable improvement.
In meditation, I get to observe what I’m doing: thinking, emotions, and what my body is feeling. It gives me a valuable perspective on myself that I don’t have when I’m doing whatever I do.
How to Try This Yourself
Some of you may have tried meditation in the past and failed.
If so, and you’re interested in the type of meditation I’ve described, take heart: you can’t fail at this type of meditation.
It’s not like the type of meditation where you’re trying to do the impossible; keeping your mind solely focused on the breath and eliminating any thoughts.
All you have to do is notice what is happening with you in the present moment, including your thoughts, emotions, breathing, and how your body feels.
• To get started, watch the Introduction to Mindfulness Meditation series of videos taught by Gil Fronsdal. This series will give you a good foundation on how to meditate. It includes teaching, participant questions, and guided meditations you participate in.
Watch one a week, think about it, and implement new concepts into your practice the coming week.
• Pick a time that works best for you to meditate. I meditate every morning after my morning routine.
You might find a better time to meditate. Like the evening before bedtime.
• Start Small. Try doing 5 or 10 minutes per session. You can always add more time when you feel it’s right.
It’s easy to get excited about the potential benefits of meditation and bite off too much. Steve Hagen warns against this in his book Meditation Now or Never:
“The most important thing to remember is to set a schedule that you can actually follow, not one you dream of following.” Steve Hagen, Meditation Now or Never
Set a timer on your Apple Watch or use a digital timer app such as InsightTimer.
• Don’t expect significant changes in your life right away. This is a practice, not a race.
It will take time for you to notice and understand what is happening with your body, emotions, and thoughts.
Be patient, but consistent.
If you journal, you may want to write about your experiences meditating and the insights you gain about yourself. Or talk to a friend about it.
If you see the potential benefits of meditation, set aside an hour and a half on your calendar to watch the first video in Gil Fronsdale’s Introduction to Mindfulness Meditation series.
AI Note: I wrote this blog post myself, using my own words and thoughts for the initial draft. I used AI only to suggest headlines, section headings, images, and text improvements.
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