A Simple Mug, an Overcomplicated Decision
I decide I want to buy a new coffee mug.
Seems simple, right?
But there are endless options to choose from.
What capacity mug do I want? Do I want a ceramic mug? If so, what color? What design? Do I want a heavy one or a light one?
Or perhaps I want an insulated mug. Do I want lighter insulation, thicker insulation, or a particular type of lid?
There’s endless comparison shopping because there are endless options.
We read reviews, algorithms suggest other options, we make up pro-con lists, and we compare features.
We delay deciding because “we need to research more.”
Buying a coffee mug has become a major project.
What is going on here?
FOBO has raised its ugly head: Fear of a Better Option.
Meet FOBO: Fear of a Better Option
In our culture, it’s assumed that the more options there are, the better.
Unfortunately, abundance often creates paralysis, not freedom.
As Michaela Chung wrote in The Irresistible Introvert,
“Making decisions becomes more difficult as our choices expand.”
We overresearch options and overthink which choice is best. We can’t decide which option is best, and either we never make a decision or we continually delay it.
There are hidden costs of FOFO:
• Wasted time and energy – by spending so much time thinking about it and researching options.
• Lingering anxiety – because even after we make a choice, we still wonder if maybe there wasn’t a better option.
• Lost confidence in our own judgment – because we feel like we need to examine all possibilities before we can make a choice.
• Stress and energy drain for introverts – who tend to overthink everything anyway.
The Myth of the Perfect Decision
FOBO rests on a myth
The myth is that there is a best option, and if you miss it, you lose.
The reality is that most decisions are good enough. Meaning often comes from making a choice and living with it, not selecting the very best option.
Few decisions are unalterable. If we order one coffee mug on Amazon and then find another option we think we’d like much more, we can always return the first one.
I did this recently with a webcam for my new (but webcam-less) monitor. I ordered one from Amazon. Before it arrived, a friend told me about one he was getting for Christmas. It sounded like it might be a much better fit for my needs, so I ordered one. I compared the two and returned the one I’d originally ordered.
Good Enough Is Often the Smarter Choice
Good enough is often more than enough.
Popular author Anne-Laure Le Cunff wrote in her recent newsletter, The Art of Good Enough,
“People who try to find the perfect option tend to experience more stress, indecision and regret than people who simply look for a solution that is good enough.”
For some items, it’s best to define what “good enough” is before you choose, and then commit fully once you make a choice.
Stop questioning the decision afterward.
Three Practical Ways to Escape FOBO
Anne-Laure Le Cunff suggests three ways to deal with FOBO:
1. Recognize the Signs of FOBO. Catch yourself when you’re overthinking or over-researching a choice. If you’re spending way too much time to make what should be a simple decision, you’re probably caught up in FOBO.
2. Externalize Small Decisions. How do you decide between options for minor decisions, like whether to go out for pizza or tacos?
Flip a coin. Or, if you don’t have a coin (usually me), you can decide that one choice is odd and the other one is even. Then look at your watch and see if it is an odd or an even minute. Choice made!
3. For significant decisions, systematize them. Anne-Laure Le Cunff suggests the DECIDE framework, which was designed in 2008 by Professor Kristina Guo.
It’s simple to memorize and apply.
It’s composed of six aspects, which make up the acronym DECIDE. Anne-Laure Le Cunff describes the process in her article:
• Define the problem. Taking a step back to ensure you really understand the problem at hand should be the first priority when trying to make a decision.
• Establish the criteria. If you’re about to purchase a piece of software, what are the criteria? Is it price, great support, ease of use? List all the factors you want to consider before making a decision.
• Consider the alternatives. Try to spend the right amount of time on this step. Too much time spent considering all the alternatives can drive to overthinking and analysis paralysis. Just make sure you have done enough research to have a few solid alternatives.
• Identify the best alternative. Weight the list of criteria you have created in the second step, and rate each of the alternatives. Then, compute the result to see which alternative makes most sense based on your criteria.
• Develop and implement a plan of action. Time to act on that decision. Especially if you have a maximising thinking style, it’s important to force yourself to not go back to the previous steps and to move forward with the decision.
• Evaluate the solution. In order to make better decisions over time, examine the outcomes and the feedback you get.
Make the Decision Today
FOBO thrives on delay.
The cure is action.
The next time a simple decision starts to feel heavy, pause, set a “good enough” standard, and choose.
Then commit fully and refuse to second-guess yourself.
Confidence is built by deciding—not by endlessly researching.
AI Note: I wrote this blog post myself, using my own words and thoughts for the initial draft. I used AI only to suggest headlines, section headings, images, and text improvements.
Links to product pages on Amazon include a referral code, which pays me a small percentage of the sale when products are purchased. This helps to defray some of the costs of running this site. I strive to only include links to products I believe are worth buying.