Why So Many of Us Chase Perfect
I’ve rewritten emails that didn’t need rewriting and polished documents no one would study that closely — and told myself I was just doing my best. Many of us fit the label of perfectionist.
We’re often introverts who are deep thinkers, detailed planners, and people who value competence. This often leads to perfectionism in our work and (worse) personal lives.
Our business culture demands it. You’ve probably heard the mantra: “excellence in all things.” This sets an unattainable standard we are expected to live by.
As Tiago Forte wrote in his article “Beyond Perfection“:
“Quality is sacrosanct in the modern workplace. You’re never allowed to say you’re going to deliver something at 70% quality, or 50% quality, not to mention 20% quality. The unspoken rule is that you always do “your very best.”
The same is true in some productivity systems. One program I know encourages participants to set up a weekly grading system where they ask this question about each area of their lives: “Have I done my best?” That implicitly sets perfection as the standard to judge their lives against.
The Fear Hiding Behind Your High Standards
Perfectionism is often driven by a fear of failure or disappointment. We obsess over details and try to make our work perfect because we’re afraid we’ll suffer the embarrassment of failing or disappointing others.
Oliver Burkeman addressed this motivation in The Antidote:
“All these counterproductive ways of thinking about failure manifest themselves most acutely in the phenomenon of perfectionism… perfectionism, at bottom, is a fear-driven striving to avoid the experience of failure at all costs.”
When Perfectionism Actually Serves You
We often talk about perfectionism as though it’s entirely negative, but it also has positives. Perfectionist care produces accurate, detailed, and durable work.
Some jobs require perfectionism. I wouldn’t want an electrician wiring my home to be anything less than perfect. Craftsmanship perfection is sometimes a necessity.
In my part-time job, I regularly edit written material. It’s important to catch grammatical or spelling errors because, if left uncorrected, they make the writer seem careless or incompetent and destroy readers’ trust. Also, when I’m preparing event reminders, it’s critical I get the event name, time, date, and Zoom link perfectly correct.
When Perfectionism Turns Against You
While perfectionism can be positive in certain contexts, it can also cause serious problems.
Perfectionism often creates paralysis. If you’re working on a project, it’s never quite good enough to launch, so it never gets done. Ryan Holiday pointed this out in his book Discipline Is Destiny:
“Another way to spell perfectionism is p-a-r-a-l-y-s-i-s.”
Another problem with perfectionism is that we waste time trying to make something perfect. As Tiago Forte pointed out in his article “Beyond Perfection“:
“The closer you get to the mythical 100% quality mark, the more costs skyrocket. It might take you as much time and effort to go from 90% to 95% quality as it took you to go from 0% to 90%.”
Three Ways to Loosen Perfectionism’s Grip
How will we deal with perfectionism?
First, determine in advance what level of work each project element needs.
Tiago Forte points out that we need to break quality into dimensions first. For writing, for instance, he offers six as a starting point:
- Density of insight
- Entertainment value
- Specificity and detail
- Practicality
- Storytelling
- Clarity
A piece isn’t simply better or worse than another. It rates higher or lower on each dimension, depending on the type of project. When working on a piece of writing, you could ask yourself which dimensions of quality are most important.
In most cases, only one or two truly matter, and the others need to be good enough or don’t matter at all. For instance, if you’re writing a step-by-step explanation of how to do something, clarity is the most important dimension. On the other hand, if you’re working on a biography, storytelling is probably the most important dimension.
Once you define which dimensions are most important for the piece you’re working on, you can let the non-essential dimensions be mediocre. Effort spent improving low-priority dimensions is wasted and can actively obscure the ones that count.
Second, recognize when work is ready to release and when spending more time on it won’t make much difference.
When I worked as a Judge Advocate in the Air Force, our office was always busy. We had multiple projects, including reports and evaluations to write, and important legal questions commanders had asked us to answer. I got pretty good at figuring out what was enough.
With experience, I learned how much research I needed to feel comfortable that I was giving a commander the right answer. I couldn’t spend forever working on a question. I had to know when I’d done enough to have the correct answer, and then move on to the next project.
There’s no easy answer to the question, “How will I know when I’ve done enough?” That depends upon the type of project you’re working on, the audience, and sometimes the probability that the answer you’re giving someone is accurate. My experience is that this sense comes only through practice.
Third, choose progress over perfection. As we’ve seen before, perfectionism can cause paralysis. In his book Slow Productivity, productivity expert Cal Newport suggested,
“Give yourself enough time to produce something great, but not unlimited time. Focus on creating something good enough to catch the attention of those whose tastes you care about, but relieve yourself of the need to forge a masterpiece. Progress is what matters, not perfection.”
When I was on active duty in the Air Force, when we thought we’d done enough work on a project, we’d joke that it was “good enough for government work.” Our joking meant we’d done enough work, and it was time to release the project and move on to something else.
Ask “Have I Done Enough?” Instead
Remember that weekly grading question “Have I done my best?” It sounds noble, but it’s a trap, because the honest answer is almost always no. There’s always more you could have done.
A better question is: “Have I done enough?” Enough to be accurate. Enough to be useful. Enough to move on to the next thing that needs you.
Try swapping that question this week as you work. You’ll find it’s not an excuse to coast; it’s a way to finish, and finishing is where the value lives.
Note: I wrote this blog post myself using my own words and thoughts for the initial draft. I used AI only to suggest headlines, section headings, images and text improvements.
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