Position Yourself, Don’t Fix Yourself
So many times I’ve walked away from a conversation thinking, “This is what I should have said.” I’ve always sucked at thinking on my feet. It’s when I have time that my best thinking happens.
Actively position yourself in circumstances where you can excel in your strengths, rather than staying in roles where you spend most of your time and energy trying to fix your weaknesses to fit the role.
Writer Shane Parrish emphasized this in his newsletter Brain Food: Stop Fighting Your Nature.
The most successful people don’t fight their nature. They architect their environment to amplify it. Stop asking, “How do I fix myself?” Start asking, “How do I position myself where my natural traits are assets?”
It’s also important to know the difference between the two kinds of fixing:
- Becoming great at a weakness: don’t bother, you likely never will.
- Accommodating it enough to function when you must: fine, but budget the cost.
You need to architect the environment for your strengths to shine.
Why I Could Never Think on My Feet
For years, I thought I needed to be able to “think on my feet” in conversations or when surprised with a question. I assumed I should have been able to immediately think of complete, reasoned, and clever things to say with barely any time to think.
I never could do that well. I’d typically walk away from a conversation, and after having time to think, thought, “This is what I should have said.”
For a long time, I thought that was a weakness. I grew up in a culture that emphasized extroverted behavior, where people easily think on their feet, but that’s not who I was.
Later, I realized that, as an introvert, that is not a natural strength for me. Instead, I excel in deep, thorough thinking done over time, not thinking on my feet.
I deliberately steered toward career options that majored in prepared teaching and writing, and away from small talk and improvised speaking. This is the “position, don’t repair” move in my own life.
Your Flaw in One Room Is a Strength in Another
The same trait that is a weakness in one setting may well be a strength in another setting.
Your “flaws” are often just a bad fit. The traits you keep trying to sand down may be perfectly acceptable. It’s the setting that’s wrong. What’s a headwind in one situation is a tailwind in another.
For instance, my inability as an introvert to think on my feet, but my corresponding ability to do deep, thorough thinking and preparation made me a better attorney in many ways.
I had better-organized, better-written, and more reasoned trial and hearing briefs for judges to read, and stronger preparation for hearings and trials. I often outperformed quick-witted lawyers who just stood up and talked.
You’ll Never Be Great at What You’re Bad At
We all have areas of weakness. Every strength has a corresponding weakness, so how do we deal with those weaknesses?
Recognize you’ll never be great at what you suck at. You can’t fully escape your weaknesses, even after positioning well. The goal is to minimize the time spent there, not to reach zero.
As Shane Parrish wrote in his book Clear Thinking,
“The way to improve your defaults isn’t by willpower but by creating an intentional environment where your desired behavior becomes the default behavior.”
No matter how much effort you put into it, you’ll likely never excel at one of your weaknesses. You’ll just be investing an inordinate amount of time and energy trying to do the impossible, instead of investing it in what would really produce results—your strengths.
Accommodate the Weakness, Don’t Transform It
There’s a big difference between “repairing” a weakness to turn it into a strength and “repairing” it by making accommodations so you can do something at a basic level when necessary.
You may have to fix a weakness enough to be productive, but not transform it into a strength.
As a volunteer at the Minuteman Missile National Historic Site, teaching visitors is my strength, but I have to make small talk and relate to them when they first come in the door. I deliberately act more extroverted as a short, deliberate bridge, not an attempt to become an extrovert.
It works, but it is energy-draining, and I accept that cost. I turn up my extroversion as a bridge accommodation, not transformation. I’m not trying to become extroverted. I’m just doing enough to accommodate the situation.
Structure the Role, Don’t Just Announce It
Engineer a setting where you know your key strengths will be primary.
I learned the hard way that simply declaring your strengths and weaknesses to an employer isn’t enough. People revert to conventional all-around expectations. Positioning has to be structured for the right role, not just announced.
Years ago, I told the leadership of a church, before I was hired, that I was good at some things but awful at others, and that I wouldn’t be focusing on the things that I was awful at.
They agreed, but over months, the leaders became unhappy that I wasn’t doing the very things I told them I wouldn’t do. They still wanted a jack-of-all-trades who was good at everything in ministry.
That’s often what they want in ministers: a good old boy who’s excellent at small talk. I hated small talk, but I was strong as a teacher, so I purposely leaned into prepared speaking and teaching in my careers in law and ministry.
I deliberately steered toward jobs that rewarded prepared teaching and writing, and away from small talk and improvised speaking. This is the “position, don’t fix” move in my own life.
The Question That Changes Everything
For much of my life, I asked, “How do I fix what I’m bad at?” The better question turned out to be, “Where do my strengths become assets instead of afterthoughts?”
That single shift changed how I chose careers, how I volunteer, and how I spend my energy in retirement. It can do the same for you.
Take one area where you’ve felt like a bad fit. Instead of asking how to repair yourself, ask where that same trait would be a tailwind—and start steering toward that room.
Note: I wrote this blog post myself using my own words and thoughts for the initial draft. I used AI only to suggest headlines, section headings, images and text improvements.
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