The Balance Myth
We’ve been sold a lie.
From childhood, we were told to “find balance” in life—to give equal attention to every role of life: work, relationships, health, and personal growth.
Then, self-help and business writers raised the bar. Not only should we balance it all, they said—we should excel in every area, all the time.
When we inevitably fall short, we blame ourselves, feeling like failures.
But here’s the truth:
Life balance is a myth.
There’s hope.
Understanding what life balance is really about can give you a sense of positive intention and prevent beating yourself up.
Why “Doing Your Best” Isn’t the Answer
The ideal of life balance was an impossible ideal.
We can’t possibly equally balance time and attention in all areas of our lives.
Life’s needs constantly shift; you cannot excel in all areas simultaneously.
Striving for excellence in everything causes burnout.
I once came across a productivity coach who suggested a weekly review question: “Did I do my best?” for each role in life. “Did I do my best this week as a husband? Did I do my best this week at work? Did I do my best this week as a friend?”
It sounds motivating—but it’s a trap. The honest answer will almost always be “no.” It turns reflection into a pass/fail test. It sets you up to fail every time you ask the question.
A better question is, “How did I do?”
That slight shift removes judgment and opens space for learning. You can gauge how you’re doing with each of your roles, but you don’t have to pass a harsh judgment on yourself and consider yourself a failure.
Real Balance Is About Choosing What Matters Most
The key to real life balance is to practice intentional imperfection. As Anne-Laure Le Cunff reminds us in her popular book, Tiny Experiments,
“Embrace imperfection. You cannot excel at everything simultaneously.”
You can’t be great at everything all at once—and that’s okay
Well, if life balance isn’t about being perfect and excellent in all areas of life, what is it about?
Life balance isn’t about perfection—it’s about intentional imbalance.
As Brian Moran and Michael Lennington put it in their book, The 12 Week Year:
“Life balance is more about intentional imbalance.”
It means giving more energy to what matters most right now—and accepting that other areas will wait their turn.
If my wife were in a car accident, I’d drop everything and head to the hospital. Life balance is about choosing what truly matters in the moment.
Do What’s Most Important Right Now
“Life balance” doesn’t mean spending equal time and attention on each of your life roles.
It means intentional imbalance—choosing to do what is most important at any given time.
It’s OK to spend more time on one role than the others.
Right now, what’s the most important thing to do given the circumstances?
Do that wholeheartedly, and don’t beat yourself up because you’re not doing everything else.
AI Note: I wrote this blog post myself, using my own words and thoughts for the initial draft. I used AI only to suggest headlines, section headings, images, and text improvements.
Links to product pages on Amazon include a referral code, which pays me a small percentage of the sale when products are purchased. This helps to defray some of the costs of running this site. I strive to only include links to products I believe are worth buying.