When Saying Yes Means Saying No
A little over a year ago, I had to say no to something I really wanted to do because I’d already said yes to other things.
A creator friend offered me the opportunity to work with him by helping with backstage administrative support. I had to say no because I had previously accepted a part-time job as a National Park Service Ranger.
That made me realize that when you say yes to some things, you are effectively saying no to many other things.
I had been experiencing exhaustion from my ranger job (a three-hour round-trip commute and all the social interaction) and was thinking about ending it and reverting to volunteer status, but having to say no to my friend was the moment that made it very clear to me that I needed to end my engagement.
I realized the commitment I’d made to the ranger job was negatively affecting every other activity in my life. I decided to end it.
Quitting Isn’t Failure — It’s a Choice
Some might classify that as quitting. It’s not quitting in a negative sense. It’s not a moral failure; it’s a moral victory to recognize that to do something more important, you need to stop doing something else.
Letting go of my ranger job was hard because I’d made a commitment and genuinely loved the work. This isn’t a story about walking away from things you don’t care about. It’s about walking away from things you do care about because something matters more.
I had to turn down my friend’s first job offer because of my ranger job. After stepping back from it, my friend asked again, and this time I was able to say yes. I’ve been in that position for over a year now, and it brings me much fulfillment and meaning. He’s doing valuable, important work, and my work helps him to do it better.
What Happened When I Cut My Blog Output in Half
When you say yes to too many things, you have no time to do excellent work on the things that matter. As Shane Parrish wrote,
“Your capacity for excellence is inversely proportional to the number of your commitments.”
A month ago, I decided to reduce my blog post output from two a week in different subject areas to one. Cutting down from two posts to one didn’t just free up time; it freed up my courage.
I started tackling topics I didn’t already have mapped out in my head. The quality shift wasn’t just depth; it was willingness to go into unfamiliar territory. I had previously defaulted to pre-mapped, lower-research topics.
This aligns with what Chris Bailey wrote in The Productivity Project:
“When you simplify the tasks, projects, and commitments you take on, you spread your time, attention, and energy across fewer things—and invest more of each into everything you do.”
That’s exactly what’s happened to me. I now tackle unfamiliar territory with the help of Claude Cowork’s research briefs and an interview process that helps me to clarify my thinking about the topic. I’m writing posts on topics I never would have tackled before.
Every Commitment Costs More Than You Think
Commitment pruning is a core productivity strategy. Saying no is what makes your yes meaningful. To be more productive, you need to limit the number of projects you’re working on, and keep in mind that a project is not just about doing the project.
We typically don’t consider the significant administrative overhead that goes with every project. Every commitment costs more than its face value.
As David Sparks wrote in The Productivity Field Guide,
“Every project you accept, no matter how small or exciting, carries unavoidable administrative time. Replying to emails. Attending check-in meetings. Updating task lists. Managing calendar conflicts. A conservative estimate for most projects is an hour of management per project, per week.”
That means if you take on five projects, you’re likely to spend at least five hours per week just on administrative overhead, in addition to the time you spend working on the project itself. If you take on eight projects, you’re going to spend one full day each week just on administrative overhead.
Three Things You Can Do Right Now
Do an inventory and cut the things that don’t matter. Say no to accepting projects that aren’t important to you.
Here are three actions you can take:
- If you’re overcommitted already, start cutting.
- Move things to a waiting list where they don’t go active until something else is finished. That gives you control over how many things you’re working on at any given point.
- Before you say yes to anything new, sleep on it. Give it distance. Don’t commit in the moment. David Sparks’s personal rule: “I (almost) never say yes to anything without sleeping on it first.”
The Emotional Unlock
It can be emotionally difficult to cut down the number of projects on your plate. You might feel like you’re letting people down when you say no or have to eliminate a project, which makes you feel guilty.
But what’s really happening is you’re choosing what matters. Life is complicated, and you have to make choices between what’s really important and what’s not as important. If you don’t make those choices, others will make them for you.
Reframing quitting as an intentional choice is the emotional unlock for you when you know you should cut, even if you feel guilty.
The Real Cost of Saying Yes to Everything
Every commitment you keep costs you something you can’t see directly — the work you didn’t do, the depth you didn’t reach, the project you kept shallow because you had six others running alongside it.
Protecting your time isn’t selfish. It’s the only way to show up fully for the things that deserve your full effort.
Do the audit. Cut something. Say no. Make your yes worth something.
Note: I wrote this blog post myself using my own words and thoughts for the initial draft. I used AI only to suggest headlines, section headings, images and text improvements.
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