Let’s Be Honest—We All Avoid Thinking About Death
We all know it’s coming—our own death—but few of us ever stop to think about it. We change the subject, distract ourselves, or pretend it’s far away.
Recently, my wife and I watched an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation where Commander Riker faced his own likely death from an infection. He kept his sense of humor and met the possibility of dying with dignity and courage.
I want to be like Riker as I approach my own death.
All of us are aware that one day, we will die. It’s uncomfortable, even frightening.
But for the ancient Stoic philosophers, facing death wasn’t morbid—it was essential. They believed that how we think about death directly shapes how we live.
It can either depress us or inspire us.
It’s our choice.
Let me explain …
How Imagining Death Makes Life Sweeter
The Stoics encouraged a practice called Negative Visualization—imagining the loss of the people and things we love most. Our spouse. Our children. Our possessions. Even our own lives.
By doing so, we recognize that everything we value is “on loan” to us. The people we love will one day be taken from us, either by their death or ours.
So why not be grateful and enjoy them while we’re together?
When we imagine life without what we love, we stop taking it for granted and learn to appreciate it more deeply.
As popular author Ryan Holliday wrote in The Obstacle is the Way,
Reminding ourselves each day that we will die helps us treat our time as a gift.”
Knowing We’ll Die Helps Us Focus on What Matters
Rather than making life meaningless, awareness of death gives it urgency and focus.
Knowing our time is limited helps us make better use of it. It reminds us to finish what matters, say what needs to be said, and not postpone joy for some imagined future.
Author Robert Greene makes this point in his book, The Laws of Human Nature:
“Understanding the shortness of life fills us with a sense of purpose and urgency to realize our goals.”
When we live with death in mind, life becomes more precious. We stop drifting and start deciding.
Death Is Natural; Why Should We Fear It?
To the Stoics, death wasn’t an interruption of life, but a part of its natural rhythm.
R Marcus Aurelius, the Roman emperor and Stoic philosopher, wrote in his Meditations:
“It too is one of the things required by nature. Like youth and old age. Like growth and maturity. Like a new set of teeth, a beard, the first gray hair. Like sex and pregnancy and childbirth. Like all the other physical changes at each stage of life, our dissolution is no different.”
The Stoics reasoned it didn’t make sense to fear and worry about death.
Instead, it was to be accepted as a normal part of life.
That doesn’t mean we can’t grieve when we lose someone we love. Grief is part of love. But fear is optional.
We Can’t Control Death, But We Can Control Our Response
The Stoics taught that peace comes from distinguishing between what we can control and what we can’t.
Death itself is beyond our control. We can try to delay it, but we cannot escape it.
As Stoic scholar Massimo Pigliucci reminds us:
“Death itself is not under our control (it will happen one way or another), but how we think about death most definitely is under our control. That’s the part we can and need to work on.” How to Be a Stoic: Using Ancient Philosophy to Live a Modern Life
Once we accept that, we free ourselves from wasting energy on fear. We can focus instead on how to live well in the time we have.
Living Fully in the Face of Death
Death isn’t going away because we ignore it. The question is how we’ll live knowing it’s coming.
The Stoics didn’t meditate on death to be grim—they did it to wake up to life.
We can do the same.
Today, pause for a moment.
Think of someone you love and remember that someday you’ll be separated from them by death.
Then, feel grateful for the time you have together—right now, in this moment.
AI Note: I wrote this blog post myself, using my own words and thoughts for the initial draft. I used AI only to suggest headlines, section headings, images, and text improvements.
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